Walk on

I’m feeling inspired to walk, these days - and am hoping that inspiration lasts, for the sake not just of my waistline, but of my general wellbeing.

For this inspiration, I have to credit a Facebook group that I was recently invited to join, One Million Women Walking (sorry, gents; but perhaps there’s an equivalent for men out there too). There aren’t one million group members yet, but that is their ultimate aim. What has made the difference for me is that it is about walking together, even though it is a digital community. People share their step counts and their goals, and also photographs of their walks. The photos might be of sweeping landscapes, moody skies, or the minute detail of an insect or doorway or fungus. Regular readers will have noticed that in sharing my writing here, I also share photographs (almost always my own, though occasionally I have to find one elsewhere to fit with the words). I love playing with words, stringing them together, shaping them into something that has its own form, experimenting with them. And I also love the “ahh!” of a photo that captures a sight or a feeling or a context just so. So the idea of taking photos while walking appealed to me, and being able to share them to the group felt like a way to walk with others even though my walking will quite often be on my own.

I do like walking, but quite often the thought of “I should walk more” has felt like, well, a “should” rather than a “want to”. Even where the “want to“ is there as well, a “should” soon outweighs it, squashes it. When I arrange to meet with a friend to walk (one of the good things rediscovered by the limitations of this Covid time) that gives me the oomph to get me going, and it is pure joy. When I suggest a walk to myself, it can be all too easy to defer it to another time. But the incentive of going out, taking photos, and then sharing them with an appreciative, supportive group is shifting that.

The taking of photos is, of course, not just about posting them on Facebook later on. It affects the walk itself. It becomes mindful, attentive walking, a noticing of what is around and an active engagement with the place in which I’m walking. That really does appeal to me. It makes walking not just a mechanical process of accumulating more steps done in a day, but a time of healthy distraction. I am by nature an observer, and a noticer of detail, and to let myself get engrossed in that, allowing myself to walk slowly enough to do that or stop from time to time, is wonderful, and quite different to a sense of “must walk briskly for x length of time to get myself fit”. Yes, I want to get fit and I think walking will help, especially as my ongoing fatigue precludes much higher intensity exercise. But engaging my mind and my imagination is much more likely to get me moving than setting me a step target to achieve.

That in itself is a bit of a discovery for me. I always liked to think I was quite good at setting myself goals and working systematically towards them, playing by the rules, being self-disciplined. Now, that feels like too much mental effort. That might be part of the depression and burnout that I’m recovering from - my willpower being worn out, as it were. Or it might be that there is a different side of me, more creative, more spontaneous, that is being allowed out a little more. Or perhaps it’s a bit of delayed rebellion, in miniature, as I find myself kicking against the traces of what is expected of me. (I know, I’m not very good at rebelling! But that does mean that a little bit of rebellion goes a long way for me, in terms of making me feel I’ve shuffled off at least a bit of the weight of others’ expectations.)

Whatever the mix of reasons, joining the group has suddenly upped my motivation to walk considerably. I started with a couple of walks near home, and then last week, while on retreat in Devon, I went out a bit more. My new aspirations were somewhat hampered by tweaking my left knee, resulting in an excursion to acquire ibuprofen, voltarol, a knee support and an ice pack, but with a couple of days of rest, I was able to start slow walking again.

Now I’ve joined the walk challenge offered by the group, of setting an annual target for distance covered, against which we’re invited to check in and report each Monday. Ah, so a step goal has crept in, after all! But it has crept in as a consequence of deciding I wanted to walk more, rather than as the reason to walk more. That’s a distinction that makes a big difference.

As we come towards another lockdown in England, I am very grateful that outdoor exercise with one friend is still allowed. That will let me walk in the physical company of a friend from time to time; and at other times, when my varied work patterns and unpredictable energy levels make it hard to plan, I shall walk notionally on my own but in fact in company with a worldwide community of several thousand, and growing. And beyond that, I hope I will then continue to walk, and to observe, and to accumulate steps and fitness, and to build connections that will sustain and encourage and motivate me. Happily, I suspect that walking and noticing and photographing will also be rich soil for inspiration for this blog too!

(Photos: metalwork various at Killerton House, near Exeter.)